Do You Need a Personality Transplant?

Benefit #7: Positivity Improves Our Personality

Benefit #7 Positivity Improves Our Personality

I’ll admit this one is a bit subjective. There is no comprehensive, immutable list of positive personality traits, if only because something you might consider positive – extravagance, for example – I might find objectionable. Go ahead – do your own comparison. Here’s a list of positive personality traits from Berkeley Well-Being Institute; and here’s a list of negative personality traits from See if you find any traits on the positive list that you think are negative, and vice-versa. Chances are good you’ll notice at least a couple.

That said, we tend to be in general agreement about what we consider a nice personality – the person we want as a friend, romantic partner, or who we want our children to be. And I’m willing to bet that person is much more positive and optimistic.

So where does that leave the nearly 50 percent of people who find themselves somewhere on the self-ranked scale between neutral and negative? Well, we know that like attracts like – so it would make sense that people gravitate toward people who come from the same general world view, be it positive or negative. Positive people would tend to wind up with other positive people; negative folks would partner off with other negative folks. But I can also see a scenario where a generally positive person might gravitate toward a more negative person in the hopes that they can “help” or “fix” them. More than likely, this is a recipe for disappointment or failure, because you are the only person who can really help or fix you and I am the only person who can help or fix me. Others can offer suggestions or support – but if you don’t want to hear them or you’re not ready to receive them, nothing will change.

If you happen to find yourself in a position where you really do want to begin to embrace and invite more positivity into your life, now is a great time to do so! One way is by catching yourself in the throes of negative behavior. This may be difficult if complaining, shaming, or blaming is second nature to you – so you might want to pay attention to the responses of people around you, particularly those who don’t know you very well.

Say, for example, that rather than laughing, you have a sarcastic response to a joke someone tells at a party. People who know you well may have grown accustomed to your snarky behavior and may no longer react to it. The faces of those who don’t know you will likely reveal a different response.)

Start noticing the times you respond negatively to situations. JUST NOTICE THEM – DO NOT JUDGE THEM. Once you’ve begun to catch yourself in the process – especially the times when you are speaking negatively to yourself – see if you can start questioning your behavior. For instance, maybe you drop a jar on the kitchen floor and immediately call yourself a klutz. Stop and ask yourself, “Why did I say that? What could I have said instead?” Repeat this process until you notice that you have started using kinder, gentler language with yourself – and others.

If you really want to make strides toward bringing more authentic positivity into your life, sign up today for the 30-Day Positivity Challenge. This complimentary 30-day series of exercises gives participants a variety of assignments conducive to feeling better, overall. According to inspirational speaker Abraham Hicks, “Few realize that they can control the way they feel and positively affect the things that come into their life experience by deliberately directing their thoughts.” Abraham Hicks says we accomplish this by simply “reach[ing] for a better feeling thought.”

The decision is yours: Will you choose positivity?


#fairypositive #blogboost

Laura Orsini is an author, speaker, consultant, publisher, and creator of Fairy Positive, an antidote to the worries of the world. Find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

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